Friday, June 13, 2003

Good lawd, get me out of this place!

Shhhh...listen.... can you hear that? Listen closely! It's the sound of the life being sucked right out of me!

Whatever. I'm going to drink my Pepsi, fondle my breasts and play with my hair. That should occupy most of my time for the morning. Oh, and do a little work. But I stress the little part. This weekend should be weird. I don't know if my car's going into the shop or not. I think it's going TO the shop, but it can't get fixed for at least another week. And then there's the whole insurance hassle. I swear, get me in the room with that broad and i'll make her 'fess up about the lies she's telling. Bitch! My insurance goes up because she lies, yet I can't contest it? Haha. They don't know me. I can contest things with a look. I've perfected uber-bitchy Queen contesting with my stupid cow head. Cow head. Yep. Someone called me pretty girl the other day. I wish I knew how to take a compliment. I said, "me?"


Enjoy your two days of freedom!

We aren't in Cansas anymore I'm out.

Thursday, June 12, 2003

anxiety attack

today is not such a good day

I hate you and you and you and you and especially you.

It sounds so cliche, but I need a new life. Something totally different. I'm sick of sitting in this chair, in this room, with these this building. I'm tired of my neighborhood and my furniture and my fucking face. I feel the need to sit somewhere quiet...where there's water...and just be still. (but I did get my new Radiohead today-free is good)

I feel like puking right now.

I wish I could change my mood with a potion, like Jekyll and Hyde sorta thing. Knowing my luck I'd be stuck as Hyde!
Feeling this depressed makes me sick.
I want to go away.
The end.

What about you?

Are you hungry?
Are you sick?
Are you begging for a break?
Are you sweet?
Are you fresh?
Are you strung up by the wrists?
(Fois-gras style)
We want the young blood.
Are you fracturing?
Are you torn at the seams?
Would you do anything?
Flea-bitten? Motheaten?
We suck young blood like Dracula.
Won't let the creeping ivy
Won't let the nervous bury me
Our veins are thin
Our rivers poisoned
We want the sweet meats.
We want the young blood.
We suck young blood.
We want the young blood.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

It feels like i've done a lot of work on this site

I mean the basic template is not mine and I can't code for the life of me, but I know enough to fumble around a bit and change colors and stuff. So I tried to make it look more like me. I think it looks pretty nice so far. How industrious of me. Haha.

And all of this has been done at work. Well, everyone here can kiss my fat, white ass...i've sweated blood for this company in the past and i've been slapped in the face lately. So hey, if they consider me one thing and they're used to having me be so much more and get paid the same, then they can get what they pay for. I'll be their glorified "data entry supervisor". But hey, if i'm too smart for this position and get my work down tres fast, then fuck'em if I play around on line a bit. Pay me a little more, treat me with respect and give me work that uses my brain and I don't have a problem being the ideal employee. But the slap in the face? Not such a good thing.

Other than that, life is just a big bowl of warm crap. The car problems never end...the landlords are complaining about my cat's "smell"....hello, they're pets. They smell different. So I went and bought carpet deodorizer and uber cleaned the litter box and vacuumed the hell out of the rug. I hope they just shut up now. I mean, they're great people and all, but it's ALWAYS something. Let it go. Christ.

Sorry God I promise to read The Proverbs when I get home later.

I'm stressed, so I tend to listen to sad, melancholy music. Or country. Or both.

My fave picks right now:

-Kenny Chesney
-Bruce Springsteen
-Kissing Jessica Stein

Ok, now i'm rambling, feel like I'm stuck in a bad book or something :-)